Do Couples Who Train BJJ Together Always Last?
I would love to be optimistic and tell you that couples who train together stay together, but it isn’t always that way… It may not be the fact that they are perfect or not for one another that influences this equation, it’s just simple as this, one equations has several variables which gives us several alternative endings. Lets do the math, shall we?
A) We both train but we are very competitive with each other.
When X and Y train together they get crazy competitive, in MMA there’s only one winner, one belt, one gold medal; and extremely competitive people sometimes are sore losers. Long story short I’ve seen good couples push each other to the end of the mat instead of pushing forward. This can work amazing for some couples, pushing each other to trainings and competitions but at the end of the day not every one can win a belt or a contract, so it takes a great person to know when your partner needs to be supported a little more.
B) Dragging each other.
There are good couples who push each other, but one of them is often found being pulled towards their goals; it’s not easy being the pusher or the pushed. A great friend of mine was the pushed. She loves the sport but everyone needs to do things at their own pace, not everyone wants to compete, some of them only like it as a hobbie and each of their personal training paths are different. They try to support each other but this doesn’t come easy.
The pushed wants to take a break once in a while and training isn’t their #1 priority and its ok, but sometimes the pusher doesnt quite get that; This may lead to arguments or unfair judging, all of this can easily be avoided with a little communication and a lot of support.
The pusher is always dealing with the pushing (LOL) and often feels bossy or tired of the pushed not keeping up. That doesn’t mean he/she has to be the naggy boss but can also understand that the other party isn’t willing to give it all up for the sport, so just realize that now and then you will be hitting the mat on your own.
C) The pro’s.
Dating a pro doesn’t come easy, as a non pro your always left in the shadow of the pro boyfriend or girlfriend. So as a non pro most of the times people feel under appreciated. Being a pro isn’t easy either, the gym hours are longer, there’s a lot more sacrifices that go into just training like traveling and being away from home.
D) When only one party trains.
This is a tricky situation, if you’re the guy that trains you wont be seeing much of your girl in the mat and its more like your alone time, as a girl things are a little different, it can go both ways your boyfriend thinks its cute and decides to give it a go, hell he might even like it! Or you might find one of those crazy jealous boyfriends along the way that will make a fuss about you training.
I guess what I’m trying to explain is that we are not all in a same point in our MMA lives, we as couples should support each other in any level that our partner needs even if we don’t find ourselves in that point, or with that much heart into it. I’m not saying its easy, cause it isn’t, believe me. But we all need to be supported at one point of our training. I know for a fact that without my husbands support I wouldnt still be here training or even blogging about it.
Some people just give more to the sport than others and its ok, we don’t all give it our 100% and we don’t always sacrifice it all for the sport, but having fun is always part of our path.